he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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