I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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