covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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