I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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