Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
