i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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