That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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