This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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