okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
