Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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