I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
