I saw his package. It spoke to me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
