Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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