hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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