That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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