I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
