In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
