NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize