...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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