so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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