So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
