Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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