I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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