just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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