wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
