My vagina just recognized that song.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
