thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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