Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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