Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
