I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
