who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
