Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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