No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
