oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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