I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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