i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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