The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
