Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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