I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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