Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
