I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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