I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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