TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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