Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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