You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize