Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
