i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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