i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
