Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
