I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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