i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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