my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
