I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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