your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
