i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
