He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
