shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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