The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
