Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
